Thailand in 1990 was a country of contradictions, it held images from the most sublime to the most degrading: from the amazing beauty of the statues and buildings in the Royal Palace, to the horrible, sleazy meat markets of Patpong road. I had arrived at Bangkok airport on the 26th of July and was immediately hit by the suffocating humidity in the air as I took a taxi to a small hotel located somewhere between the airport and the city centre. I was hungry, so I left the hotel in search of somewhere to try some Thai food. I hopped in to a waiting tuk tuk and was surprised when the driver asked “Patpong road?”. “No”, I replied, “take me to the city centre”. I got out in an area which was more built up, but there were still very few people on the street at around 11pm at night. I stopped a passerby and asked for directions to a restaurant, and the first reply was “Patpong Road?”, by now I was getting a bit frustrated! It was the first time I’d been in a capital city, where everyone seemed to think that the red light district was the most popular attraction in the city! I’ve never paid for sexual gratification in my life, and certainly wasn’t going to start in a place which seemed to be a magnet to sexual deviants and men who were only able to experience enjoyable sex by paying for it.
I finally found somewhere to eat and returned to my hotel for a good night’s sleep. I have always enjoyed the 007 James Bond films (and many of my travels have followed in the films’ footsteps), and one of my favourites was filmed in Thailand - ‘The man with the golden gun’ included a Thai boxing contest and a boat chase in a long-tail boat, so these were on my bucket list, as well as a Thai massage and some sightseeing before taking a train from Bangkok down the peninsular to George Town (Penang) in Malaysia.
Next day, I headed down to the riverside. The Grand Palace was my destination and I could see it glistening in the distance on the opposite bank of the Chao Phraya River. What a wonderful and fascinating place! Thankfully, I made a photographic record of the amazing Buddhist architecture and wild statues seeming to represent a mixture of animals and humans. I took a photo of what seemed a door covered in art work in gold, then asked a nearby tourist to take one of me in front of the palace. The huge palace complex included the Temple of the Emerald Buddha with it’s towers and spires. After an enjoyable time spent wandering around the Grand Palace it was time for my long-tail boat ride! If you haven’t seen The Man with the Golden Gun, a long-tail boat is a long canoe with a car engine on the back driving a long propeller used for both propulsion and guidance. I found one to hire (with boatman) near the palace and off I went! During the ride, I took two photos – one of what seemed similar to the temple where Bond had to fight local martial artists, and the second which seemed similar to the place where the souvenir elephant salesman was thrown overboard in the film clip linked here.
The next day, I headed in to the centre of Bangkok again, this time to watch the Muaythai boxing! No photos from this visit, but to give you an idea of what it was like, in the film clip, I was behind the chicken wire, well back from the VIP seats where Bond and Scaramanga met! While in the city centre I took the opportunity to walk down Patpong road to see what all the fuss was about, but it was a sad and shabby place, like most red light districts in the rest of the world.
The next day it was time to check out and make my way to Bangkok railway station to buy a ticket for the next leg of my journey – the train from Bangkok to Butterworth (Penang) in Indonesia. I bought a first-class ticket, which included a sleeping birth for the 18 hour journey. This train ride was a singular experience. The carriages were full of friendly Thais and Indonesians and the old train reminded me of the Orient Express as shown in old Agatha Christie films! There was a restaurant car which served the noodle soups I have always loved and watching the rice paddies go by from the train window was magic! As it got dark on the first day, after taking a last photo of the sunset, uniformed attendants walked down the corridor opening what I had thought were overhead luggage lockers when, in fact, they were comfortable sleeping areas which were accessed by short ladders. I slept wonderfully and the next day, woke up refreshed and ready for the customs formalities as the train crossed the border from Thailand to Indonesia. It was completely painless, with a customs official collecting my passport and stamping me out of Thailand on the train while if I remember rightly, I was stamped in to Indonesia at Butterworth railway station after a cursory look at my hand luggage.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to explore mainland Indonesia because I had a flight booked to Medan on the island of Sumatra for the next part of my summer holiday travels in 1990.
Visa on arrival and leaving Thailand.
I would return to Bangkok nine days later, deciding to splash out on a more luxurious hotel for the one-night stay. I booked in to the Royal Orchid Sheraton and spent a very comfortable night there, well-deserved after the trials and tribulations of Sumatra. After a hearty breakfast, I set off to complete the last item on my Thai bucket list. I headed out of the hotel, located riverside in the city centre, It took a short walk to find what I was looking for. A big building advertising Thai massage. I got a shock when I entered because, along with a reception desk, there was a big glass-fronted room full of girls in swimsuits with numbers attached to their waists. I approached the receptionist and said that I wanted a traditional Thai massage. She pointed to the price list went from 200 Thai bhat for a simple massage (there were 25.58 bhat to the dollar in 1990), to 10,000 bhat for your wildest sexual fantasy provided, I assume, by the girls behind the glass window. I paid my two hundred bhat, and a short while later a young girl entered from a stairway and I followed her upstairs to a bedroom with ensuite bathroom. First she asked me to strip naked and then took me to the bathroom where a hot bath was waiting. Well, although I’ve had sex in the shower a few times and even in the Mediterranean Sea, I hadn’t been bathed since I was a child, when it was my mother bathing me! The young Thai girl washed me thoroughly with a soft flannel and perfumed soap, and then led me to the comfortable bed. Now, by this time, I was fully aroused and beginning to regret not going for the super fantasy package! I asked the girl if she would like to take her clothes off as well and she politely refused. C’est la vie. The next 50 minutes involved a mixture of limbs and muscles being stretched and manipulated, with my masseuse*, at one point, walking barefoot up and down my back! When she had finished, I dressed and left the massage parlour, thanking the girl profusely for her skill; I felt like I was floating on air as walked back to the hotel! No other massage I’ve ever had has ever come even close to this experience, and looking at the event with hindsight, I’m glad that I selected the traditional Thai massage, which was what I had wanted, rather than getting drawn into that part of Bangkok which attracts so many low-lifes and contributes to a seediness which makes it unlikely that I will ever return there.
Visa Malaysia, return to Bangkok and Hong Kong
* Check the pronunciation of this word; it’s very tricky to pronounce!
